As summer approaches and the last few days of the semester pass slowly by, I always seem to look back on the months of schooling and wonder if it'd been time well spent. Every year I've struggled with the decision between college and a job. Every year I, like many of my fellow students, wondered if I was wasting my life on an education. Especially now, in this time when keeping a job is a blessing and living off part time work isn't sustainable, continuing in college seems even more foolish. So I sit here once more, contemplating the life I've chosen, feeling halted, and wondering if this semester has helped me in succeeding even a tad bit towards the future of my choosing.
I've decided thats its been an essential semester. For about two years before this semester I was struggling with writing just about anything. I'd fell into a sort of writing rut and wasn't truly able to pull myself out. So this semester I took an abundance of English classes, hoping that by being pressed to write I could push myself free of my block. One thing I didn't think about was the overload of papers that came with this and therefore the lack of sleep, but I made it through. This semester I have written more papers and read more books than I have in the past two years. It's been a haul, I'll admit that. It's been a struggle to find the energy or spirit to write even the tiniest of things, but all this work I think has truly helped me. Despite the fact that I still find it moderately difficult to start I paper, I no longer feel trouble after getting past that first line. Perhaps it was the practice, or the several examples I got from reading so much, but either way it has helped me improve.
I'm hoping that this work has pushed me out of my rut. It seems to have helped a fair bit and lord knows I'll need these skills if I plan to do anything with an English degree. I think one of the biggest things I have learned this semester is how to analyze literature and find deeper meaning in the works we've read. From this class and my Fiction Writing class, I've learned to look past the surface of what I read. I look at the subtle things and the seemingly meaningless circumstances, and I am reminded that no word on a page is meaningless. If the author took time to write it than it has purpose. I have a feeling this will come in handy. In the future, when I hope to one day be a book publisher, I'll need to remember how to look at stories, not just in the overall picture but in pieces as well. I'll need to remember how to see a story for more than just my initial reaction and that is something I've been able to slightly grasp this semester. With more practice I am hoping to one day be able to do it easily.
Overall, I believe this semester hasn't been a waste. I think I've accomplished some things, being pulled from my block being one of the biggest accomplishes. I still need practice and further examples to get better. I still have a lot of reading ahead of me, but I feel like this semester has been a good one. I'm hardly ever certain that college has been the right decision, but I believe after this semester that it is. My rut had weakened my self-confidence, and now with being at least partially released from doubt maybe I can make some decent headway into my potential career. Its been a helpful semester. I don't regret it at all.
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